Listen to what makes your heart sing
This quotation – taken from an interview with Todd Stashwick – is tattooed on the inside of my right forearm. Life advice that I read just as I realised that chasing publication with contemporary romance was not working. I love reading it, but writing? It’s not my genre of choice. So, I took that timely advice – and had it etched into my skin – and went back to SFF romance, the thing that made my heart sing.
However, a song is never one thing. There are verses, choruses, bridges and outros. They can change pitch and tempo, and still be the same song. And sometimes you fall out of love with it.
Right now, writing – for several, very personal reasons – is no longer making my heart sing. I’m doing other things to try and find that joy but all I’ve done is stretch myself thin. I am, to quote Bilbo, butter scraped over too much bread.
I’ve burned out before. I had a mental breakdown in 2015. I refuse to visit those dark times again, so I’m turning off the writing song and changing the track. This isn’t a sudden decision. In fact, I’ve been dithering about it for months, because having a publishing deal is a long-held dream. But putting it onto a back burner isn’t giving up. It’s being realistic about my mental health and my ability to cope.
It’s giving me a chance to breathe, and to deal with some family issues that are taking up a lot of cerebral real estate.
And it lets me forge a new path that does make my heart sing.